there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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