woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
