Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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