This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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