Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
