The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
