I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
