I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize