No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
