"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
