I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I intend to get homeless drunk
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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