hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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