Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
