I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
