Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
