Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
