Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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