My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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