I'm sorry my penis didn't work
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
