I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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