As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
