oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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