I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
did i just pee glitter
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
