Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
