I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
