Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
