alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
