and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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