i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
