yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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