You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
