I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
