I heard we made out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's just like the Real World with babies
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
