this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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