My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
