Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
