woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
