I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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