So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
