well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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