the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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