i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
