What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
