i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
