meet me or not, i'm out of control
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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