You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
