a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
