Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize