So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
