I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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