I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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