I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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