you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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