You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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