You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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