P.S. I can't hear my feet
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
