You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize