mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
