its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i've created a new STD.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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