At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
