i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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