Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
