Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
