Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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