he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
from now on my penis is your penis
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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