I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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