My pussy is not your playground.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
