we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
