His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
