if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
COCAINE IS GR8
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