it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
