even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
