Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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