I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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