fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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