a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
