I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
