he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
