That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
