it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
