I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
