Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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