Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
