We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
