see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
