Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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