thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
