If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
