you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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